A couple of years ago we bought a 22-foot RV trailer and we’ve had lots of enjoyment out of it. That said, every year, the trailer still has to made ready for “RV Season” and this involves putting the batteries back in it, filling propane tanks, draining antifreeze out of the plumbing, checking tires and dealing with the cover that has enshrouded the trailer over the winter. Come Spring, that cover is as dusty as the Sahara and has to be cleaned and stored until Fall. It’s sort of a PTSD-inducing experience.
Anyway, two days ago I was en route to the place where the trailer is stored, pondering over what the heck I was going to write about for this month’s post. Suddenly it occurred to me that I should write about the ins and outs of RV camping!
Canadians and Americans love to camp. Witness the number of people in larger cities on both sides of the border who live outdoors all year round! Sarcasm aside, as of 2024, there are about 2 million people up here in O Canada who own an RV trailer or maybe a full-size luxury RV bus. In the U.S. around 10 million households have an RV. The Brits are also enthusiastic about taking to the roads in “motorhomes” or “caravans”. Interestingly enough, the 60’s and 70’s made up the Golden Age of Caravans and Camper Vans in Britain.
This is all very interesting but moving right along here, there are hundreds of different RV trailers and their ilk, to choose from, ranging from tiny pods on wheels to a full-sized, luxurious buses. Here’s an interior photo of a typical, modern, upscale RV bus. Who knew?
Maybe I exaggerated. But the big buses ARE pretty snazzy. Some of them are even equipped with small Radioisotope Thermoelectric Generators or RTGs, like the one powering Matt Damon’s Mars Pathfinder rover in The Martian movie. That RTG also made an ass-kicking potato fryer.
Anyway, as I said, scads of people are out there visiting RV campgrounds and many of them are equipped with outdoor swimming pools, shower facilities, kiddie playgrounds, bowling alleys, pickleball courts and restaurants/pubs. These campgrounds offer nature close by, the company of like-minded people, crackling campfires, owls, Sasquatches, etc. OK, I definitely made up the bit about bowling alleys. And the Sasquatches. All the other stuff is pretty accurate.
But here’s the downside of RV ownership: RVs are just like houses except they’re on wheels! What does this mean? It means that not only do we have to worry about maintaining and fixing all the important stuff in our stationary house; now we have to worry about all that same stuff in our little mobile house!! I’m talking about the heating, cooling, and ventilation systems, wiring, lights, solar panels, plumbing, refrigeration, stoves, hot water heaters and RTGs, just to name a few.
Sadly, for some strange reason, RV parts sold at RV dealers will cost more than these same parts sourced elsewhere: lots more. If your RV has to go in for service, that can be as bad as taking your Mars Pathfinder rover into the shop. Trust me on this.
I remember the day I signed the papers for our new rig and forked over the cash to a pleasant woman in the dealership accounting office. When we were finished, I got up, shook her hand and as I was leaving the office she beamed at me cheerily and congratulated me: “Congratulations! You have just gotten yourself a VERY expensive hobby!” I smiled back at her weakly and left.
Keep in mind that you also have to keep your RV clean. Just like a real house! If you have a dog, which many RVers do, that dog will track in dust, ticks, salamanders and bits of twigs and debris, same as it does at home. Consider purchasing an after-market add-on decontamination chamber for your rig. Sell your firstborn child if necessary.
Another thing to watch out for is critters. Critters include field mice, voles, squirrels, stoats, Florida Wood Rats et al. Over the winter, critters can weasel their way into a RV, gnaw rubber and plastic, steal the copper wiring and procreate with reckless abandon in your bedding. Volumes have been written about strategies to protect your RV from critters. My favorite is to store the vehicle in low Earth orbit for the winter. Critter-sized bug zappers might also be an option but the burnt hair smells nasty.
Seriously, it’s not all that grim. Most RV owners are the handy sort, capable of sourcing parts on their own, doing their own repairs, showing critters who’s boss and upgrading their rigs by adding features like walkout basements, decontamination chambers, observatories and so forth.
Beside the things I’ve listed, another upside to RVing is usually having knowledgeable neighbors in the sites beside you. They’re usually ready to help if you’re new to the game and they can be really friendly. I mean, really, really friendly. Especially so if you see any pink plastic flamingos festooning their sites along with upside-down plastic pineapples or images thereof.
These days the flamingo is considered to symbolize romance, openness, community, harmony, grace, beauty, being lucky at cards, individuality, acceptance and a fanatical devotion to the Pope. (Catholics: I’m just kidding about the Pope!)
Back in the day, an upside-down pineapple on your doorstep was a sign of hospitality. Currently, the upside-down fruit still means: “Come on in!” but it also means “Especially if you’re into consensual, non-monogamous sex.” Translation: “Dude. We’re swingers!”
I’m not making any of this up. Check it out.
Now rewind the tape to 1967, when I was 9 years old. There was this British Psychedelic Pop band called The Zombies. The Zombies had initially been called the Mustangs but when bass player Paul Arnold joined the group, he renamed it The Zombies. Nobody really knew why. After a few years, Arnold left to become a doctor. Go figure.
It so happens that one of the Zombies most popular songs was “Time of the Season.” Here’s a link to that song: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=809271978019667. The lyrics are somewhat opaque and dreamy and I distinctly remember listening to that song as a teenager and wondering if it was talking about sex. That’s not really a surprise since 95% of the neurons in a teenage male’s cranium are busily thinking about sex. So what exactly do the lyrics mean?
Great question! I’m glad you asked me, so I turned the question over to Copilot and got this response:
“The song “Time of the Season” by The Zombies reflects themes of romance, desire, and the cultural shifts of the late 1960s. The lyrics express a longing for connection, suggesting that it is a period where “love is in the air” and people are more open to relationships. The phrase “time of the season for loving” highlights the era’s movement towards sexual freedom and experimentation, capturing the spirit of the counterculture and the sexual revolution.”
Let’s put these pieces together using Boolean Algebra. Boolean Algebra has nothing to do with ghosts, by the way. Here we go:
(A) unrestrained, indiscriminate canoodling was very popular with the Psychedelic Pop bands of the 60’s. (B) In Britain, the 60’s were also part of the Golden Age of Caravans. (C) The Zombies were British (D) Many people I see at RV parks look like they grew up in the 60’s (E) I just told you about the pineapples and the flamingos.
We can write this as a Boolean logic expression: [A] AND [B] AND [C] AND [D] AND [E] = [F]
[F} will be true if all the components A, B, C, D and E are true.
Therefore, we are inescapably led to the conclusion, F, which states that the Season the Zombies were singing about is…you guessed it:
RV Season!!!
So if you hit the road, remember the immortal words of Bruce Todd, one of my best and most hilarious friends, now deceased:
“I don’t wanna know anything. I don’t wanna know anything. But if anything happens, I wanna know everything!”
I miss ya, Toddy.
The Department of Lateral Thinking 