Posted in zany, offbeat, somewhat silly humor

Patrick Mahomes Is Definitely A Highly-Evolved Honey Badger But I Still Think Tom Brady Might Be An Immortal Humanoid Alien From The Future

Full disclosure: I watch one Pro Football game a year. That would be the Super Bowl. This year, I was swept up in a tide of confusion trying to figure out if the NFL had missed the class on advanced Roman Numerals, back in Grade Whatever.

All of us who passed Grade Whatever know that LIV is fifty-four in Roman Numeralese, right? So why did the NFL make the Super Bowl Fifty-Five logo so that it looked like it was the logo for Super Bowl Fifty-Four? And since you brought it up, why did they go and stick that football-on-an-obelisk thing in the logos for Super Bowls Fifty-One, Fifty-Two, Fifty-Three and Fifty-Four?

People have been walking around in early February for each of the last five years, scratching their heads and saying, “What the hell Super Bowl IS this, even? That dang logo doesn’t make any sense. Is that pedestal thing supposed to be the letter “I”? Is it one of the Silver Surfer’s high school football trophies? Or what?”

Mrs. Norrin Radd, spouse of Silver Surfer:

“Norrin! Put that trophy in the garage right this century! If I’ve asked you once I’ve asked you MMDLIX times! It’s been like 500 million years since you went to high school. Just because you’re an immortal humanoid alien who can throw a football several parsecs through space with pinpoint accuracy, it doesn’t mean you can leave your old crap lying around everywhere for the rest of eternity. And why are you even in the kitchen right now anyway?”

Norrin Radd (aka Silver Surfer):
henpecked immortal humanoid alien football star/defender of the Galaxy
Read MORE MARVEL COMICS (ALTHOUGH SPEAKING PERSONALLY, I WAS ALWAYS PARTIAL TO D.C.)